Thursday, April 28, 2011

Loving/Helping Relatives/Neighbours/Colleagues and their Rights

Peace and blessings of Almighty be upon you!
 
This article has lot of knowledgeble stuffs, however as rightly said Knowledge without understanding/examples can be impractical or very dangerous sometimes.
so would request to read some examples here http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories/mis52.aspand I cite certain examples, which we all have experienced as 1st or 2nd person or 3rd person.
 
We need to understand, that Allah tests us in unique ways, and more often in those fields, where we have lesser knowledge or a tendency to fail, becoz we fail to meditate on it. e.g.
  • One test could be, a needy begging your assistance ( your time or money) again n again, when a time comes, you say "Enough, I can't give you anymore".Here one needs to understand, that Allah Tries a rich/healthy man by granting continual wealth or/and continual health to him, at the same time
    Allah also tries a poor / sick man, by continually disallowing him wealth or/and health to him, So when the Rich and Poor interact or Healthy and Sick interact each other,
    Allah tests how they handle each other.
  • Another test could be, during a heated debate, a non-muslim friend accidentally says bad about your faith, and you chose to end friendship, and seek revenge ( instead of forgiving or ignoring that person)
  • Another test could be, one have perceptions of someone like, ( e.g. he always quarrels with everyone, he always have opposing views, or he is not a practising muslim), and that perception actually causes one to speak something, which hurts that person.
  • Another test could be, one make assumptions of others (e.g. my relative's wife sits in the shop, and since men have a tendency to stare at women, so she is certainly doing haram). Although this assumption may be quite correct, but we need to understand that sometimes there may be really pressing problems for a family, like one is highly debted or one's husband is ill for months etc. In such a circumstance, if we as a Relative or neighbour, could come forward to assist that person in relieving of their debts or illness, then it would help create a balance in society, and remember a balanced society can only create a practical Islamic society, and balance is created by Helping and assisting each other to get rid of each other's problems.
 
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Indeed Noble Qur'an says that: "Who is it that will offer of Allah a goodly gift, so He will multiply it to him manifold, and Allah straitens and amplifies, and you shall be returned to Him." (2:245)
Prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Whoever likes that his sustenance becomes abundant and his age be longer, let him keep good relations with his relatives."
 
"Giving charity to the poor is (rewarded as) a charity (only), but giving it to a relative is (rewarded as) a charity and keeping ties with kinship." [An-Nasaa'ee, At-Tirmithi, and Ibn Maajah]
 
Prophet Muhammad (S) said, "The food of two is enough for three, and the food of three is enough for four." The beauty of Charity
It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one's neighbor/ relative.

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own. ~ Harry S. Truman
 
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.  ~Henry Winkler
 
When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.  ~George Bernard Shaw
 
 
 
The reporter asked a farmer "How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?"

the farmer replied, "Didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen grains from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior, sub-standard & poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I have  to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors to grow good corns."
The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbors' corn also improves. Those who choose to be in harmony must help their Relatives/Neighbours/Colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others live well. The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches...

Success does not happen in isolation; it is most often a participatory and collective process. So share the good practices, ideas and new knowledge with your family, Relatives, friends, team members and neighbors & all. As they say: "Success breeds Success."
 
Allah, the Exalted, says:
"Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess.'' (4:36)
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It is obligatory upon everyone to treat their relatives in the best possible manner, and to support them in accordance with their needs, and what they seek of help and support. And this is what is necessitated by the Sharee'ah (Prescribed Islaamic law), the 'aql (sound reasoning) and the fitrah (natural state).:
 
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One of the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) asks, “O! Prophet, who is the best of the people?”
The prophet answers that short question;
It is the person who is afraid of God the most, who is the closest to his relations and who advise goodness and try to take people away from the wickedness.”
 
For the reason of alms and having relations with relatives, God blesses the life, saves him from dying like wicked people and keep him away from all kinds of badness and things which a man must be away from.” - Hadith
 
Abu Hurairah relates, a man came to the Prophet and asked,” O! Prophet I have some relations, I visit them but they do not come to me. I am being good to them but they are being bad to me. I am being kind to them; they are being rude to me.”

The Prophet Muhammad said to him “if you do what you say, you make them eat red hot ashes. What they do is harmful to them. As long as you behave like that, God will help you and protect you from them.”
 
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The rights of Relatives and Neighbours
By Farida Khanam

A Muslim is required to maintain a good relationship with his relatives. According to a saying of the Prophet, we should visit our relatives, inquire about their circumstance, spend on them and give them sadaqa (voluntary charity) if they are poor.
   
According to another hadith, if any one of our relatives does not treat us well, even then we have to treat him well. As we know, Islam enjoins us not only to be good to those who are good to us, but also to be good to those who are not good to us. This shows exemplary moral character according to the standard of Islam.
   
Here are some relevant verses of the Qur'an:

   "Give your relatives their due…" (17:26)

   "Allah commands justice, kindness and giving to near relatives…." (16:90)

   "…And show kindness to your parents and to near relatives…" (4:36)

   
The essence of Islam is thus to serve Allah and do good to our fellow creatures, including the animals. The worship of Allah is linked up with kindness to parents, kindred, and those in want. It is not a matter of verbal kindness. They have certain rights which must be fulfilled.
   
From the Qur'an and traditions we find that the institution of the family can only be maintained by feelings of well-wishing and kindness. So the Islamic laws of morality and decency must be observed. If we want to earn Allah's pleasure and blessings we must abide by the Qur'anic injunctions, and extend our full support to our relatives.
  
 Rights of Neighbours
   
"Do you know what the rights of neighbours are?" asked the Prophet. And then he went on to give a list:
   
"Help him if he asks for your help." "Give him relief if he seeks relief from you." Give him a loan if he needs one. Show him concern if he is distressed. Nurse him when he is ill. Attend his funeral if he dies. Congratulate him if he meets with any good. Sympathise with him if any calamity befalls him."
   
This tradition shows that we are not only supposed to have good will towards our neighbours but we should also offer practical help whenever they are in need. Nobody can be a believer, said the Prophet, if his neighbours pass the night hungry, while he has his stomach full.
   
This hadith tells us that nobody can be a true believer unless his neighbours feel secure from his hands and tongue. We are urged to be good and helpful to our neighbours in particular for they, being near, have more right to our goodness and assistance.
   
Such great emphasis laid by the Prophet on our good treatment of our neighbours shows that the aim of Islam is to awaken the springs of goodness in the human heart. If we can become good to our immediate neighbours, then that will be a guarantee of our being good to other people. For constant good conduct will surely develop a good moral character in us and that will surely reflect in our dealings with whoever we come in contact with.
   
If we observe the injunction of the Prophet in this matter, then without doubt we shall contribute to strengthening society with the bonds of love, affection and brotherhood.
 
 
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Cutting off Relations with Relatives is a Major Sin
(Friday speech delivered by Imam Mohamed Baianonie at the Islamic Center of Raleigh, NC on November 28, 1997)
Last Friday we learned about a number of major sins that we should avoid, and if we already fell in one or more of these major sins, we should repent with sincerity now and ask Allah (S.W.T.), the all-forgiving, all-merciful for forgiveness.
Today, I will talk about one of the major sins which is spread widely among Muslims today and which has lasted so very long till it became one of the habits which people do not realize and object it; that is cutting of the relations with relatives. This is a major sin with the consensus of all scholars because its prohibition and its warning are very emphatic, that is barring from entering Paradise on the Day of Judgment. This is clear from the hadith of the prophet (S.A.W.), which is reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim, "One will not enter paradise if he/she cuts off relations with relatives."
Which relatives whom it is not allowed to cut off relations with?
They are the relatives whom you have the kith and kin relations with, whether they are the immediate relatives like the parents, brothers, sisters, uncles from the mother and the father sides, or the non-immediate relatives like cousins. This applies to both a Muslim or non-Muslim relative.
How is cutting off relations with them prohibited?
Cutting off relations with relatives is of various degrees of severity; the worst kind is to cut off relations with them completely (not even greetings or a single word with them). And a less severe degree is when you have less complete relations with them, the kind of relations where greetings are exchanged but there are no mutual visits on the appropriate occasions like Eid, weddings, and no support like financial support and no mutual help to stay well guided. All this is haram (prohibited), but some are worse than others.
What is mentioned in this subject?
Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surah Mohammed, (Verse 22 & 23), what can be translated as, "Would you then, if you were given the authority,
Do mischief in the land, and cut off your ties of kinship." Imam Ibn Katheer says, in his explanations of these two verses, "these verses mean that you go back to the period of ignorance (period before Islam); you spread mischief and transgress on earth, and cut relations off with relatives.... This is an emphatic, general prohibition from transgressing on earth and a special, emphatic prohibition from cuttings off relations with relatives.
Imams Bukhari and Muslim reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said: "Allah created His creation, and when He finished it, the womb got up and caught hold of Allah whereupon Allah said, "What is the matter?" On that, it said, "I seek refuge with you from Al-Qati’ah (those who cut the ties of kith and kin)." On that Allah said, "Will you accept (be satisfied) if I bestow My Favors on him who keeps your ties, and withld My Favors from him who cuts your ties?" On that it said, "Yes, O my Lord!" Then Allah said, "That is for you." Then the Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.), said recite if you wish "(The two verses 21 and 23 in surat Muhammad)"
In a Qudsi hadith reported by Imams Ahmad, Abu Dawud and At-Tirmithi, "Allah, the exalted, says: I am the Most Merciful, I created Ar-rahim and I cut out a name for it from my name, so whoever keeps good ties with it, I will keep good ties with him, and whoever cuts it off, I will cut him and finish him off."
The prophet (S.A.W.) also said reported by Imams Ahmad, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmithi, and Ibn Majah, "There is no sin that Allah (S.W.T.) more readily inflicts the punishment for in this life, in addition to what Allah (S.W.T.) keeps as punishment for the sinner in the Hereafter, than the sin of transgression and cutting off relations with relatives."
What do you do if you have relatives with whom you keep good relations, but they cut off all relations with you? Would you cut them of?
No, listen to the hadith of the prophet (S.A.W.) that was reported by Imams Ahmad and (Muslim in similar words.) when a man came to him and said, O messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I keep good relations, but they cut off relations with me, I forgive them, but they
oppress me, I do good to them, but they treat me badly, should I get even with them (treat them as bad as they treat me)? The prophet replied: "No, If you do so all the relations will be cut off this way. On the contrary, be generous and keep in touch with them, you will always have support from Allah as long as you stay this way."
Allah (S.W.T.) commands us to have good relations with our relatives, so He said in surat Ar-Ra’d, (Verse 21), what can be translated as, "Those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they are good to their relatives and do not cut the bond of kinship)," and also mentioned to us that this is from the duties of a Muslim toward his relatives and also He (S.W.T.) said in surat Al-Isra’, (Verse 26), what can be translated as, "And give to the kindred his due…"
Imams Bukhari and Muslim reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Whoever likes that his sustenance becomes abundant and his age be longer, let him keep good relations with his relatives." Which means Allah (S.W.T.) will bless them.
Imams Bukhari and Muslim also reported that a Bedouin asked the prophet (S.A.W.), " O messenger of Allah tell me something that gets me closer to Paradise and gets me further away from Hell Fire. The prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Submit to Allah only and do not take partners with Him, establish prayers, and pay zakah, and establish good relations with your relatives." When the Bedouin left, the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "If he holds onto what I told him, he will enter Paradise."
Imams Bukhari and Muslim also reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "Al-rahim is hung to the throne of Allah (Al-A’rsh) saying: Whoever connects me, Allah will connect him, and whoever cuts me off, Allah will cut him off."
After we heard all these verses, and many ahadith, we ought to take a serious look into our lives; if we find ourselves in this major sin of cutting off relations with our relatives, then we should repent sincerely. This repentance should stop us from falling into this sin, and regret for what we have done, and be determined not to fall in this sin again. We should repent now without delay, before it is too late because we do not know when death will come.

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